What is Kabedon?

This week, in one of my writing groups, the subject of Kabedon came up. Kabedon is not something I had ever heard of before, so I won’t assume that you have either. Kabedon is a new trend in Japanese courtship, popularized in manga and anime. Kabe-don (“wall hit”) is the act of the man slapping his hand on the wall next to the woman, pinning her in position by his proximity. He may place only one hand on the wall, or one hand on either side of her so that she is trapped between his arms. He leans in very close to talk to her.

This video was posted in the group discussion:

One of the comments I made on the thread in my writing group about the video was: “I don’t understand the women saying it didn’t make them uncomfortable when their body language said it absolutely did. Those wide grins, embarrassed laughs, and turning away or hiding faces aren’t flirtatious, they are nervousness and anxiety.”

Here are a couple of articles about Kabedon:

The Japanese Kabedon: is it romantic or is it offensive?

Kabedon Is The New Japanese Mating Ritual You Need To Know About

Of course, dominance moves like this have been around for years. They remind me of Fonzie’s pick-up moves on Happy Days. While we always thought Fonz was the coolest, I wince when I watch Happy Days now—treating women like objects, showing them no respect, no concept of “consent.” It isn’t the 1950s anymore, or even the 1970s. Our expectations are a lot different than they used to be.

The consensus in my group was that Kabedon is okay if you are in love with the guy, but creepy if you aren’t.

I happen to disagree. I think it’s creepy behavior no matter how well you like the guy. I do not want to be trapped and have someone aggressively pushing into my personal space even when courting/flirting.

So if you happen to see a Kabedon scene in one of my books in the future, you can bet it will not be seen as a romantic, “hot” move from the recipient’s viewpoint!

Comments

  1. Venette Schafer says

    I don’t like it either. I can think of several counter moves that I don’t think he would like. #1 my knee would move to his crotch real fast.

  2. Ugh! That’s a no from me. It’s definitely aggressive, and it gives the impression of the woman being trapped. Maybe they need to use that move when teaching self defense classes. Haha. Then the Japanese women can start a new trend.

Tell me what you think!

More from my site


Featured Book(s)

A Catastrophic Theft

A Catastrophic Theft

Reg has been able to set up a respectable, if somewhat unconventional business providing psychic services in Black Sands, and is starting to feel like she could actually settle down there long-term.

But her relationship with Sarah, who has been her loyal friend and protector since she arrived becomes strained when Sarah’s precious emerald necklace disappears.

There is no shortage of suspects, with Reg herself at the front of the line.

Friends and felines pitch in to solve the mystery, but in the end it is up to Reg and her cat Starlight to ferret out the truth.


Find out more

Featured Posts

Upcoming Events

Release of Sour Cherry Turnover
12:00 am
Erin told anyone who would listen that she was not concerned about The Bake Shoppe reopening, but in her heart of hearts, she was worried about whether Auntie Clem’s Bakery would be able to survive[...]
May 9 @ 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm
Writing as Medicine: Mental Illness on the Page @ Memorial Park Library
7:00 pm
Join local authors Susan Calder, Stacey Bruce, and P.D. Workman as they read from their work and discuss how they portray mental illness and how writing on this topic helps them and their readers.
Release of Apple-achian Treasure
12:00 am
Erin is back on her feet again with the opening of Auntie Clem’s Bakery version 2.0. But her new partner is not the easiest person in the world to get along with and there are[...]
Release of Vegan Baked Alaska
12:00 am
“At least you won’t be stumbling over any bodies on an Alaskan cruise.” Mary Lou couldn’t have been more wrong. Of course Erin Price, gluten-free baker extraordinaire, would stumble over a body on the cruise[...]