Author Notes may contain spoilers

The Story Behind the Book

What does the title He Was Not Himself mean?

It has two meanings. The first is straightforward: Aaron Barrows is not who he claims to be. The second meaning doesn’t become clear until the final reveals—and it reframes everything the reader thought they understood.

The Hook That Started It All

What drew you to this story?

I was intrigued by the idea of a father hiring a private investigator because his daughter’s boyfriend was too perfect. That’s such an unusual complaint. At first, it makes the father seem unreasonable—maybe even paranoid.

But then the question shifts.

What if he’s right?

And then it shifts again.

What if he’s not who he says he is?

That progression—moving from dismissal, to doubt, to full uncertainty—became the backbone of the story. It’s twists upon twists, but each one grows naturally out of the last.

Character & Psychological Tension

What kind of person is Aaron Barrows?

Aaron is, on the surface, exactly what anyone would want: composed, capable, attentive—almost impossibly so. That “too perfect” quality is what makes him unsettling.

And in many ways, he’s also the most confused person in the story.

How does this case affect Zachary Goldman?

One of the key tensions in this case is that Zachary is working without the full picture. He believes he’s asking the right questions—but he’s missing critical information.

That gap between what he knows and what he needs to know drives much of the investigation forward.

Themes & Underlying Ideas

What themes were you exploring in this book?

At its core, this is a story about perception and identity—about how easily we accept what we’re shown, especially when it fits what we expect or want to believe.

It also plays with the idea that something can feel wrong long before there’s any proof. That instinctive unease is something I find fascinating.

Tone & Reader Experience

There’s an element of humor in the premise—was that intentional?

Yes. There’s something inherently funny about an overprotective father investigating his daughter’s boyfriend for being too good.

That humor helps ground the story early on and makes the initial setup feel almost light—before things start to shift and the implications become more serious.

What kind of reading experience were you aiming for?

I wanted the reader to move through distinct stages:

• First: This father is overreacting.
• Then: Wait—maybe he’s onto something.
• And finally: Can I trust anything I’ve been told?

By the end, I want readers to feel that everything resolved the way it was meant to—even though multiple forces were working to push events off course.

The Role of the Police

How do the police function in this story?

In this book, the police fall short in multiple ways. They’re unable to effectively deal with organized crime, and at times, they’re almost humorously out of their depth.

That’s a different tone from some of my other books, where those same limitations can feel much more ominous. Here, it adds another layer to the story—showing how easily things can slip through the cracks.

— an amazing and suspenseful story. It carries you away into a psychological tailspin that keeps you going in so many different directions.

— A really good piece of detective fiction with some novel and original features which keep the reader guessing until the last few pages.

— I love the way the investigation plays out…very interesting.  That is done very well. It held my interest. I very much wanted to find out the outcome…

— Very well written. [Zachary] is flawed with a capital F … In spite of his problems, he is a very sympathetic character and doggedly pursues the truth.

— [She Wore Mourning] made for a pleasant read while presenting an interesting story.

— What a great story. Fabulous plot with interesting and complex characters. I was totally involved into the wee hours. Many twists and left waiting until the end. Highly recommended

— Wow! I just finished it. In one day! I could not stop reading it! This book grabs hold of you from the start. It’s a very well written detective novel. It pulls you not the story and is very emotional. You feel for the characters. This is the first novel I have read by this author but it will not be my last. I highly recommend this book.